Chapter 1:

 

"Hi everyone and welcome to our Valentine's Day special show with some of the Tekken universe couples. Our 1st couple is Julia Chang and Hwoarang. Say Hi you two" said Anna. "Hello" said Julia as she waved.

 

"Sup, Yo i like to give a shoutout to my dawgs in Seoul, Dirty South Korea YO WAZZUP i'm on TV" said Hwoarang as he made the piece sign.

 

"Hwoarang sit down,now. You're embarrassing me" said Julia as she pulled him back down covering her face.

 

"Uh..okay. Our 2nd couple are Ling and Jin. Say Hi you two" said Anna with a smile. "Hi you two" said Ling as she waved to the camera. "Hello" said Jin with a warm smile. Ling just rolled her eyes. Jeez, he's so boring. Wonder what attracted me to him, thought Ling. Jin then got up and took a bow. Ling looked at Jin's butt. Oh that's why...thought Ling.

 

"Our 3rd couple are Steve and Christie. Ya know what to do" said Lee.

 

"Hello" said Christie in an almost songful voice. "Hi" said Steve who had his jaw taped and had bruises on his eyes.

 

"Our 4th and final couple are Jun and my brother Kazuya. Say hi you two" said Lee. "Hello everyone" said Jun with a nice smile. "Did you have to say you were my brother Lee. UGH!" said Kazuya giving Lee a hateful stare.

 

"Okay people let's begin the show" said Anna as she read a card. "Now Julia and Hwoarang. You know how to play the game. I'll ask Julia a question to either you or Hwoarang and you two, written with your answer on the big signs, show's if you got the correct answer To prove that ya two know each other alot. Okay first question Julia. When's your birthday?" asked Anna.

 

"Easy January 3rd. Hwoarang must know this one" said Julia with a broad smile. "Okay let's see you answer Hwoarang" said Anna. Hwoarang showed it and it said Novermber 45th. "November 45th? Hwoarang there's only 30 dayz in November" said Julia with an angry look. "Oh...no wonder i always waited for that day to come to buy you a birthday present" said Hwoarang with a surprised look. "WHAT? You always spend your money on drugs, clothes, motorcycles, hair, or some kind of weapon. Never something for me" cried Julia. "Aw, baby don't cry. I offered you a joint right" said Hwoarang as he tapped Julia's back. Julia then punch Hwoarang in the stomach. Hwoarang then cough profusely.

"Uh...Okay we'll be right back after these messages" said Anna with a weird look towards Hwoarang and Julia.

 

Chapter 2

 

"Okay we're back. Now for our 2nd couple. Jin what is Xiaoyu's fantasy about you?" asked Anna. "Oh...Me in a nice red satin bed with strawberry's and whip cream for her and i to eat" said Jin. A buzzard then rang. "Oh sorry Jin that wasn't Xiaoyu's answer. Ling would you please reveal it" said Anna.

 

Ling held up a sign and it said 'Jin and his father with a threesome with her'. Jin eyes then widened in shock. "WHAT? My father. Ling...how...but...HOW COULD YOU!" said Jin heartbroken. "Its just a fantasy. Its not...real. A Father-Son duo. WHOOO that's hot" said Ling. Ling then looked at Jin. "Don't worry i was just joking. Don't take me seriously sometimes baby." said Ling as her eyes looked at Steve. Steve then had a bit of a smile. "Oh..ok. I'm still your number one right?" asked Jin as he hugged Ling. "Yeah...uh huh" said Ling as she pushed Jin away a little. Jin then had a puzzled look.

 

"Okay, Steve what was the first time ya and Christie hooked up?" asked Lee.

 

"The time i won a fight at the MGM Grand in Vegas. I was celebrating my victory in this nice casino bar. I was stone drunk and didn't know where the hell i was. But i woke up the next morning in a sleazy motel room with Christie in my arms. She then told me that me and her got married in this Elvis Love Shack wedding chapel. I was going insane cause...i don't know who this bitch is" said Steve.

 

"Uh...Christie...your answer please" said Lee. Christie then revealed her answer it said 'Las Vegas, got white guy drunk, took his money, and screwed him and got married'. Christie then jump and hugged Steve towards her chest. "OWW! Get away from me" said Steve as he breasts hit him in the jaw which made the pain more intense.

 

"Uh...we'll be right back after these messages" said Lee.

 

Chapter 3:

 

"Welcome back. Now its Jun and Kazuya's turn. Jun, how many serious girlfriends did Kazuya have and can you state there names?" asked Lee.

"Hmm..that's a toughy. I don't know. Since i'm the only serious girlfriend Kazuya has ever had. I think its me...then...right?" said Jun pondering.

 

"Uh...Kazuya reveal your answer" said Lee. Kazuya then took out two big card signs. One said Tonya, Mileena, Andrea, Tiffany, Kim, Laquisha, Sharmella, Isabella, Maria, Eliza, Dixie, Hayley, Blair. Kazuya then turned another card, and it said , Hannah, Sakura, Melissa, Krystal, Shanekwa, Golden Child (That was her indian name) Lisa, Meredith, Chocolate, Princess, Alexis, Alexis again, Toma, and Melissa again, etc, etc...i can't keep track' said the cards.

 

Jun was in shock. "My God, Kazuya. You haven't slept with all those girls have you?" said Jun with her hand to her mouth. "Uh...no...you're the only one for me" said Kazuya as he put his arm around Jun with a nervous smile. "Awww, you're so sweet" said Jun as she gave Kazuya a kiss on the cheek.

 

"No wonder i heard you all the time sneaking girls in your room" said Lee.

Kazuya then gave Lee a hateful stare.

 

"Anywayz, now is Hwoarang's turn to answer a question. Hwoarang, what was the first thing that you notice about Julia when you first met her?" asked Anna. "Her bootilicious ASSets. Like, it made me say "Uhhhh Phenomenon" and "Ohhhwee" quoting Master P. Julia puts Jennifer Lopez's butt to shame. Like she got Junk in her trunk that i could have a freaking yard sell cause--" said Hwoarang until he got cutoff but Julia smacking him upside the head.

 

"Julia reveal your answer" said Anna. Julia then revealed her answer, which said Her brain, and the Ogre pendent Michelle gave her'. "Remember Hwoarang? You were trying to mugged me trying to get your hands on my pendent" said Julia angrily. "Oh yeah. Pawned that shit and got a good price for it. Got me a Ducati motorcycle. But...i was really trying to get a feel out of you though, if that makes you feel better" said Hwoarang touching his gold chain. "Oh shut up" cried Julia. Hwoarang then put his arm around Julia. And Julia cried in his arms.

 

"Uh...we'll be right back after these messages" said Anna

 

Chapter 4:

 

"Welcome back to the show. Now, this is for ALL you couples. What is the one feature or personality trait you hate about your mate?" asked Anna.

 

"Ling and Jin, since you're the next couple up. You go first" said Lee. "Ling loves me the way i---" said Jin until he got cutoff. "His nose. You saw his T4 profile. Like did he screwed a Eagle when he was living with Jun in the forest or what? My God. Its gigantic. And also, i can barely see his nipples. Then again, why the hell do boyz have nipples? They ain't gonna breast feed or anything. And also he's so serious and boring. Like only thing he likes to do is practice his karate, walk in the goddamn forest, take baths in some stream. Like Jin you know animals die there right. And...his nose is big" said Ling as she finished.

 

Jin covered his nose. "But...i thought you loved me. You were waiting for me for 2 years right?" asked Jin. "HELL NO! You think i was gonna waste two years of my life for your pathetic brooding ass. I went out with guys. Had a serious boyfriend until your damn grandfather wanted to use me to get to you...and you promise me you get me an amusement park when you got the Mishima Zaibatsu. But, uh, WHERE THE HELL IS IT?" said Ling angrily as she crossed her arms.

 

Jin was hurt by Ling's comments. So he decided to retaliate. "Well, honey, you have ugly tartar infested teeth. YUCK MOUTH!" said Jin with his eyes narrow. Ling then gasped. "Well you weren't saying that last night" said Ling. "Well...no...but...you really made me feel embarrassed when you said those comments about my nose" said Jin. "Jin, just do everybody a favor and shut the hell up. Before i send your ass back to the damn Outback in Australia" said Ling as she smirked.

 

"MOM!" cried Jin as he went to Jun's arms. "Its alright dear. Ling really loves you." said Jun as she hugged Jin.

 

"Yo i know some black market ex-plastic surgeon who can give Jin a nosejob for a cheap price" whispered Hwoarang to Ling. "Really...well...i'll think about it" said Ling. "Jin get back here. I'm sorry. You...yeah, you do have a big nose. Nah, i'm just kidding. I love your gigantic nose" said Ling as she kissed the tip of Jin's nose. "Aww, Ling. And i love your yuck mouth. Especially the lips and tongue" said Jin gave Ling a light kiss. "Okay, sappy time over. Get off me" said Ling as she pushed Jin away. Jin was at first confused but he just smiled and put his arm around Ling.

 

"Oh okay. We'll be right back with Steve and Christie's turn" said Lee.

 

Chapter 5:

 

"Welcome back. Now Christie and Steve. You know the question" said Lee.

 

"Hmm...Steve has Sonic the Hedgehog hair. Its like he's trying to style it like a Mishima. But he completely did it all wrong. And he's too pasty. And his nipples are too high. And he's always so...well, he's okay i guess personality wise. But he always wants to find his damn parents. Like Steve, they don't want your pasty looking ass" said Christie.

 

"Well, at least my hair is real. Not that fake-ass-horse weave you call hair. And those implants. Those thing are so hard, that i don't think there breasts. I think its just two overgrown tumors. And put some clothes on you Pigeon! And at least if i find my parents, i bet my father wasn't in prison like yours. And i just can't stand you. Get away from me you breakdancing bimbo" said Steve.

 

"Hmm..you really love me don't you Dean Earlicker" said Christie. "Oh go to hell. I'm surprised they didnt' name you Rally Jackson. You're just an excuse for having jumping boobs in Tekken. You're not classy like Julia, Michelle, Kunimitsu, Unknown, Jun, Nina, Anna and especially not beautiful as Ling" said Steve as he smiled at Ling.

 

Ling then smiled back. But Jin got in Xiaoyu's way for Steve to see it. Jin narrowed his eyes at Steve.

 

"Um..uh..So that's our answers Lee" said Steve as he look at Jin.

 

"Uh huh...interesting. We'll be right back with Jun and Kazuya's turn. This is going to be VERY interesting" said Lee. Kazuya then shot a nasty glare at Lee.

 

Chapter 6

 

"Welcome back. Now Jun, Kazuya. Its your turn. What feature or personality trait you hate about your mate?" asked Lee.

 

"I don't know. I just love Kazuya the way he is. Even though, he should definitely stop wearing that boring Barney suit. And put some foundation on his face to hide those scars. Its like he's the Elephant Man. I know he's suppose to be a "bad-ass Mo Fho" Excuse my language. But...i want him to be the angel as i take him as. And, he's creeping me out with that eye. Are you a Marilyn Manson fan? You should definitely go to an optomistrist. And his attitude about our son. Jin is not a pansy boy scout, he's good. And always target practicing with a gun of a picture with his father. And sometimes a pic of our son and Lee. Like Kazuya get over it. Heihachi threw your bratty butt into a volcano. So that's my take" said Jun as she smiled.

 

Kazuya, Jin and Lee were shocked at what Jun said. Kazuya then did an evil laughed. "Well, i see, i see. Jun, get some meat on those damn bones of yours. And get breasts implants with that also. Like i was making love to her once---" said Kazuya until he got interrupted by Jin saying EEWW!

 

"Yes Jin, Mommy and Daddy do it. Not like you and Ling" laughed Kazuya. Jin then pouted. "Anywayz, i was doing it to her. And i thought i was gonna here a snap. Cause she's so...boney. Like, and i can't grope anything. Unless its her shoulder blades or Knee caps. She has no breasts. And all those damn animals in the house. You know how many rabie shots i had to get. Cause she wanted some roadkill raccoon from the street. And her always bitching about me being good and all this lovey-dovey shit. I ain't Jin's pathetic loser ass. So, Jun stop drinking the Hatorade cause i still got it going on and you don't" said Kazuya.

Jun then started to weep. "How can you say that about Mom? She loved you alot. She freed your soul from the Devil" said Jin. "Yeah, and look what happened. If my life isn't already fucked up as it is cause of this angelic bitch i wouldn't have a Cheap-ass fighting, wannabe me, sensitive as a sissy can get, loser son like you. And not to mention i wouldn't have to go through with this Devil gene crap. I've would've been with my mom in heaven while my father was in hell. But i guess someone hates me up there so i stuck with you stupid ass fools" said Kazuya.

 

Jun was still crying. Kazuya then felt a bit bad and put his arm around her. "Jun...you know i didn't mean it. I love you. You were the finest piece of ass i've ever fucked" said Kazuya. "Aw Kazuya, and you're...you're..i love the purple suit" said Jun as she cried on Kazuya's shoulder. Kazuya then pushed her away. "HEY HEY! This is an Armani suit. Here's a napkin" said Kazuya as he handed her a napkin.

 

"Uh...okay..we'll be right back with Hwoarang and Julia's turn. Stay tuned" said Lee as he looked worriedly at Jun.

 

Chapter 7

 

Okay, now its Julia's and Hwoarang's turn. Who would like to go first?" asked Anna.

 

"OH OH! ME ME!" said Hworang raising his hand like a little kid. "Uh...okay. Go ahead" said Anna.

 

"Okay. Physically. Even though i love Julia's bootylicious butt. It...does tend to be...too big. Like its just sometimes so nasty to look at. And i think i saw some cellulite. Like i eat cottage cheese. But i don't wanna make love to it. And her glasses. I got no problem with her being a four-eyed nerd. But there is a thing called contacts. At least get those wild one's with the cat eyes. Those look hot. But physically she a Hot Girl"

 

"But personality wise. Well, that's where she fuck---oh wait i know the children are seeing this so i'll say this PG-13 wise. Personality wise, Julia is Krunkt up. Like she always be bitching and nagging saying "Hwoarang don't do this" "Why are people always calling and asking for the Ice Cream Man" And all other bullshit i don't care to here. And also, her stupid mission to save her freaking toxic waste homeland. Like Julia, the environment has been fucked--krunkt up for years. You're too late now. And...i'm not going to give up my motorcycle since you say i pollute the earth. And Julia if i want your opinion i'll ask for it. You don't own me, bytch. That's my peace" said Hwoarang.

 

Julia was furious at that moment. "When we get home...UGH! Anyway, Physically from Hwoarang that i hate. Well, he looks like a fucking girl. People always paying me to see me and him do it. Cause they think i'm a lesbian and that i'm doing it with a girl. And red is SO Tekken 3. Get a new color. And his body, its so....thin. I thought i heard him throw up his food one time. I don't think those are muscles. More like disfigured bones. And he's too pasty. And in his army costume he look like a reject Hwang Sung Kyeung. And he has bad bug-tooth teeth. And his army costume looks like a broke-ass Solid Snake"

 

"Personality wise. Do you have a century? Cause there are so many flaws with this man---oops i mean boy, since he still likes to play with his Clairol hair color toys. Like Hworang you are so freaking lucky to have someone like me to look out for you. Since your mom and dad don't even want to recognize you as there son. And...JIN BEAT YOUR DUMB CRACKHEADED ASS. So get over it" said Julia. Hwoarang was shocked. "Oh no. You did not just say that. You did not just say Ji-Jin beat me" said Hwoarang looking suddenly at his hand.

 

"Oh yeah! I heard that you went on the floor and went into a fetal position on that day" said Julia with a smirk.

 

"I WASN"T LAYING DOWN. I just...didn't finish my tan the day before that day...and...the sun was really bright so i had to catch up. And...YOU'Z a HOE!" said Hwoarang. "YEAH RIGHT! Your pasty ass. And what does that make you then. Bastard!" said Julia.

 

Hwoarang then grabbed Julia's hair. "OWWW! Let go of me right now. Before i tell my mom you want to volunteer in her Ax competitions" said Julia. Hwoarang then quickly release Julia's hair.

 

Both Hwoarang and Julia stayed quiet for awhile. Then Julia felt kinda bad for the Blood Talon. "Aww, Honey. I love you. I don't wanna fight. I dont' want to wind up...like the other couples" said Julia hugging Hworang's arm. Hwoarang just rolled his eyes, until Julia kiss him on the cheek. "I need a Hot Boy!" said Julia as she looked around and played with Hwoarang. "Right Here'z. I need a Hot Girl. And i love your Onion Booty. Since its so nice, it makes me wanna....cry...almost"said Hwoarang as he lifted his arm. "Right here'z Aight. And i love everything about you. My little Blood Hawk Talon" said Julia as she lifted her hand. Hwoarang and Julia then both kissed.

 

"Aww, how sweet. Stay tuned for the final questions. Up next after this break" said Anna as she smiled.

 

Chapter 8: The Finale...

 

"Okay welcome. This is our final round. The final round consist of telling one of the mates to reveal there secret. Only one mate in each couple has a deep, dark secret the other one doesn't know of. Now...LET'S PLAY THE GAME. Okay, Couple number 1 reveal your secret" asked Anna.

"Uh..i don't have a secret...maybe" said Hworang suddenly becoming frightened. "Hwoarang...you know we've been together for a long time now... and" said Julia holding his hand. "Just spill it. I'm starting to hallucinate...and its not the drugs" said Hwoarang backing away from Julia.

 

"I'm...you're going to be a Daddy. I'm pregnant" said Julia as she hugged Hwoarang. Hwoarang's eyes then went wide. He then started gasping for air. "Oh..my...God..i'm having a heart attack" said Hwoarang as he started crying. "But...i don't..wanna be a daddy" cried Hwoarang.

Kazuya started laughing. "Kaz..how'd you do it? How'd you not take responsibility" said Hwoarang with tears in his eyes. "Just pray she has a miscarriage and that the baby is not yours. Your life is so over. Just...don't make it grow up like girly-boy Jin" laughed Kazuya. Jun then elbowed Kaz in the stomach.

 

Ling then started laughing a bit also. "Haha! Thank God i had a abortion---uh oh!" said Ling turning around to see Jin. "What? You...killed our child. How could you? You're so cold. Ling...this is not like you" said Jin. "Oh yeah! You really want another demonic chilid. What was all that shit you were talking about to end your bloodline? You candyass" said Ling.

 

"Uh...okay that wasn't the secret. But..uh..couple number 2. There seems another secret. Reveal it" said Lee.

 

"Oh right. Jin i was cheating on you with Steve. But...i just don't feel like in a cheating mood. But that affair was a long time ago though" said Ling carelessly. Jin then narrowed his eyes at Steve about to attack him.

"Hold on there Nephew. Okay couple number 3. Ya know what to do" said Lee. "Uh..okay that's me. Steve, your parents called like 2 months ago. But i was talking with my grandfather who was still serving time in prision. So since we have call waiting i forgot that i finished talking with my grandfather and i hung up on your parents by accident" said Christie.

Steve then started to cry but was mad at the same time. "You freaking bitch. I'll....KILL YOU!" said Steve starting to choke Christie.

 

"Okay, Kazuya, Jun. Reveal your secret" said Anna.

 

"I have no secrets to reveal" said Kazuya casually. "Uh...Kaz honey. Um...but i do" said Jun with a nervous smile. Kazuya then looked at Jun unbelievably. "I'm sure its not bad...right" said Kazuya with a crazed look. "No...well...while you ran the Zaibatsu in your office. I was...with someone at that time...when you weren't home and at work" said Jun. "Who the hell is it?" said Kazuya with an evil voice. "Lei. But...its over. You know...we met in Tekken 2. I was attracted to him before i got with you. And i always wonder how it would be if we were together---Kazuya where you going?" asked Jun. "Just...have to take... a trip" said Kazuya taking his cell phone out. "Yeah...bring the cop and meet me by the pier" said Kazuya.

 

"Well okay. That ends our show. I wish all the couples good luck. Until next Valentine's Day. Good-Bye" said Anna and Lee.

 

(Backstage):

 

Hwoarang was being hauled out in a strecher with an oxygen masked on and with a blank stare in his eyes. "Hwoarang... i hope you're okay. The baby needs a daddy" said Julia squeezing his hand. Hwoarang then started going into cardiac arrest.

 

Ling and Jin were walking side-by-side. "Jin, what did i tell you? You have to walk 4 step behind me" said Ling. "But...Ling.We're a couple. We should be holding hands and cuddling" said Jin with a smile. "UGH! Whatever, just shut up and do it" said Ling. Jin just crossed his arms.He then saw Steve and approached him. "You're so gonna pay for sleeping with Xiaoyu" said Jin his eyes getting red.

 

"Uh...Jin it was a one time thing--" said Steve until he got cutoff by Jin Laser Scraping him.

 

"Kazuya you're not mad right? It was so long ago" said Jun grabbing his arm. Kazuya then gave Jun a red eyed evil look. "O..k" said Jun backing away.

 

"Good work out there Lee" said Anna. "Thanx" said Lee.

 

"Hey i want to join the next Valentine Dayz episode" said Paul holding Nina over his shoulder. "PAUL LET ME GO! I'm not your girlfriend" screamed Nina punching him in the back. "Yes you are dear. And i have the tape to prove it...if ya air it" said Paul with a mischeivous laugh.

Kuma and Panda then came in. "Hey you wanna trade?" said Kuma (Translating in bear and Paul can understand since he's fought bears all his life). "Hell no! Got a fine piece of ass here" said Paul smacking Nina's butt.

 

"I love Panda" said Marduk.

 

"The hell you don't you chump" said Kuma.

 

Michelle then came in looking for Julia. She then approached Lee. "Hey Lee. Have you seen my daughter somewhere?" asked Michelle.

 

"Uh..no...Michelle" said Lee blushing. God i love this girl so much, thought Lee. Why is he blushing? thought Anna.